Hi Nanny Fi,

I am trying to give up breast-feeding my daughter Ava, and I'm not succeeding!

I am hoping that you will know just what to do!

My daughter is still feeding three times a day (after breakfast, after lunch and before bed). She eats a lot in the day (breakfast,lunch, dinner and snacks) and she sleeps 7-7 then about 130-230 in the afternoons and sometimes 20 mins in the morning about 9.30am.

 Brooke

It is true that newborn babies can get confused with teat/nipple change, but once breast-feeding is established, bottle feeding is ideal to run alongside breast feeding to give you the occasional break. This information is of no use to you now your baby is older, but may help other readers!

Ava likes breast because it's all she's ever had, she only want's breast, and the only way to go against her is yes, no breast. At Ava's age she will not accept the bottle while the breast is still on offer.

Fi

   ****************************************************************************************

My son is getting bullied at such a young age, is this normal?

Hi Nanny Fi,

What's your experience of dealing with spitefulness in little girls (specifically a 4 year old). My sons cousin has started intentionally excluding him from playing with her and her friends whereas they used to be good mates. It is done in a subtle but quite nasty way. My son being a boy doesn't know what to make of it all.

As you know boys are simple and straightforward creatures! Not sure how to deal with it with her or her mum, or whether this is just how girls are? I remember lots of this going on with girls when I was little. I am thinking of starting him in a lovely pre-school to get him a bit more confident in dealing with these situations.

Mummy E

Hi Mummy E!

Unfortunately this is just part and parcel of growing up, normal behaviour in both girls and boys of this age, and sadly your son will need, with your help, to learn how to deal it.

Sadly some parents really don't help the situation by letting their children bully and exclude others from play, so all you can do really is explain to him that some children are a little mean and unkind and to just play with someone else an to tell a grown up if someone is being unkind. If you think the mother will listen, talk to her about your concerns and work together to achieve a balance.

Children can be awful little monkeys around this age, often forming groups of who's' in and out'. I have often comforted a tearful child when picking them up from Nursery when they were 'not allowed' to play with a group of friends. I sit them down and explain that some children sadly are like this and its nothing they have done to attract this attention, that they are very special, and that the children are loosing out not being their friend.

I always make sure they have plenty of friends over for play dates and teas after school, often inviting the ones who were mean, as when they were on their own without their parents, or without the 'back up' of their other friends, they behaved so much better.

Get some books out of the library about sharing, talk to your son about friendship, maybe mention how sometimes he doesn't like to share with his brother or friends and that this is can be the same at school.

I'd like to say kids grow out of this behaviour, but sadly they don't, and lots of children are excluded in play. Its sad, but something that if you tackle head on and arm your son with facts, love and confidence, he'll have no worries dealing with it.

Hope I've helped!

Fi

   ****************************************************************************************

Trouble sleeping at 8 weeks pregnant! Help!

Hi Fi,

I'm 8 weeks pregnant and am having a problem sleeping.

Have you any ideas that can help?

I can't have anything with any smells because I suffer with migraines.

It's driving me mad! I need to get some sleep, please help!

Hi Lisa,

I'm afraid it's very common in the first 4 months of pregnancy then gives way only to return in the final two months due to discomfort!

Try a warm bubble bath and avoid watching TV afterwards.

Once in bed, do some deep breathing. With each breath imagine each part of you is getting heavier and heavier, really focus on this until you feel sleepy.

Ensure you are not dehydrated during the day and avoid caffeine.

Try and get some exercise in the afternoon and encourage your partner to massage your feet after your bath!

Good luck!

Fi

  ****************************************************************************************

My son won't eat!

Hi Nanny Fi!

My son wont eat anything other than plain pasta! I really have tried everything, but he just wont budge! He's Four and rather stubborn.

It's getting embarrassing when we go out to eat or he gets invited for tea dates.

Please help!

Mummy J

Hi Mummy J,

First of all, please don't worry, this is so common in young children and a battle that over time, with lots of encouragement and praise, can be won! I have this same worry from parents over and over again, so you're not alone in your fight against mealtimes!

All children go through a battle of wills, and it is hard to not give into their demands, however, you need to be really strong and take control of the situation.

Pasta is a great start ( I've dealt with some some children who would  only eat yoghurt before!)

With pasta you can introduce other foods in with it (if your son has no allergies) such as cheese, tomato sauces, pesto, grated veg (great way of disguising veggies!)

Encourage your son to cook with you, prepare the meal together and talk about the smells and colours and shapes of the food.

Make a reward chart ( I'm a huge fan of reward charts) to help him try new things. Move him up the chart for positive behaviour, and down for negative. If he tries something new, you could move him up two places.

If your son refuses to try new foods that you have gradually introduced into his pasta, and leaves his meal, don't offer anything in replacement.

As a parent you're bound to worry if he's going to starve, but on the whole, children don't do this, and will give in and try eventually. 

Remember positivity is the key. Don't make idol threats or bribe him with some other sweet food, this will just make him focus on the treat and dig his heels in even more to achieve it without trying his food!

Good luck,

Let me know how you get on!

Fi

  ****************************************************************************************

  Nanny worries! Can you help?

Dear Nanny Fi,

My nanny of six months quit last week  with no notice, leaving me and my children shell shocked!

 I decided to employ a young nanny I interviewed today but with a trial of 2 months built into the contract, so we have the option of looking around if we feel we need to. She seemed happy with that because it  also gives her time to see if she likes us. I'm so worried it will all go wrong again!

She was really nice, a bit quiet, but her references said she is 'much more bubbly when you get to know her but shy at interview' which is good as I thought that might be the case. 

Sadly, my sons keep asking when the old nanny is coming back.

It is so hard for them and makes me want to cry! 

Any advice gratefully received!

Mummy E

Hi Mummy E, 

I'm sorry to hear you've had a difficult time with finding the right nanny, and how hard it has been on your sons loosing their old one.

Try not to worry about your new nanny, I know lots of nannies who are reserved in front of their bosses, then loony, happy, fun girls with the children once they are not being watched. 

Some of us have no cares about running around pretending to be pirates in a public place; Others keep it for private! (I walk down the street chatting away to my baby daughter Betsy and to my dog Indie too - it's a wonder I've not been carted off!)

The idea of a trial is great. Make sure you have it in writing so you are both covered legally should anything go wrong.

You say her references said good things, I'm hoping you have double checked them by calling the previous employers? 

Helping your boys to cope with missing their old nanny is hard.  It's such a shame and very unprofessional that she wouldn't say goodbye and left without notice.

I would say she has a broken car and can't get to work to be their nanny anymore but sends lots of love and kisses. It's so much easier to tell a little lie don't you think? Children need to be protected, and little fibs sometimes help them through difficult times such as these.

I really hope it all works out for you.

Let me know how it goes!

Fi